Elves
Elves are the best race ever put in a fictional work. Created by god himself in the year 1954, they're virtually perfect and thus I write myself as one as I try to hide my insecurities. They're all beatiful/handsome, they all have perfect eyesight, they all live long lives, they all live in perfect societies, they're all skilled fighters, they're all incredibly smart. And don't you dare call them Mary Sues. Their most notable feature is their pointy ears. It is said that, the lengthier their ears are, the more high fantasy the world is. Notable Elves Legolas He's hot, he bangs Laura, he's got huntsman hacks, he surfed on a door. He. Is. Perfection. Nota's Elf In'sert * see: Nota's Elf In'sert Dobby The happy slave elf gets a sock and dies. Lovely. Zelda Zelda, the protagonist of The Legend of Zelda, contrary to popular belief, is actually an elf. Elf Subraces One of the peculiar aspects of elves is that they seem to spawn so many subraces that you can't keep count of them. Following is a list of major elven subraces: High Elves Snobbish cocky pricks. Vanilla elves. Wood Elves Tree fuckers. +10 to American races. Loli Elves Elves that look 6 but they're actually thousands of years old. Found in your average Japanese/Korean MMO. Sea Elves Mermaids but somehow even less logical. Rice Elves Elves whose diet consists almost exclusively of rice. They built a massive wall to keep the invading orcs out. Earthen Elves Nocturnal racist elves that turn into filthy goblins if they stand in the sun for too long. Dark Elves Skilled with magic, however their dark skin makes them inherently evil. Anime Elves 100% female race. They all feature massive bonkhonagahoogs and dohoonkabhankoloos and serve nothing to the plot apart from being a source of fanservice. Sand Elves An idea so bad it only appears in shitty wikis from delusional writers, like this one. Blood Elves Wait wtf I thought you could tell if they were evil just by their skin color, but blood elves are white???? Maybe they still have the evil gene from their dark elf parents? Angel Elves * see: Nota's Elf In'sert Hylian Shut the fuck up, they're elves. Can hear special messages with their pointed ears. Low Elves Dwarfs. Just dwarfs. They're a subrace of elf, believe me. Dom Elves Totally NOT my fetish, they just like to tie people up and do CBT ok??? Quasi-elves Folklore Elves They don't count as elves because they're not hot nor cool. Little tricksters who spend their entire day smoking weed. Guelphs Dante Alighieri, one of the best worldbuilders in history, was one of them. HP Elves Spoilers: they're stereotypical jews. Why they aren't goblins is beyond me. Santa Elves Santa's unpaid slaves. Have fun this christmas knowing you're feeding a predatory industry. Gallery Dkys.png|Don't kill your elf Orc.jpg|Subversive Elf Guelph.jpg|Guelph Santaelf.jpg|Santa Elf Trivia * God I wish I was an elf. * Stop saying my elves are bad, you're just jealous I made more subraces than you. * There are roughly 30.000 elf subraces in existence. Category:Ironic Category:R/worldbuilding trash